Mommy in Pieces

Just a mom that wears a cape under her street clothes.

Archive for the category “celebrate”

Demons Be Gone

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I was the girl that ALWAYS looked for the excuse.  Tried to find a way to explain away my unhealthy life.  Felt a calling and a magnetic pull to the couch and the TV.  I could come up with a million reasons at the drop of the hat as to why I was overweight; genetics, my knee, I tried hard…..

 

1381960_10151945025045871_200699152_n(1)I cant tell you the exact moment that I decided that enough was enough, it was a gradual awakening.  I laced up my shoes, chose healthy over what I “thought” I wanted.  I walked, then I jogged, then I ran!  I have completed races that my own community said that I would fail at.

Last night.. the old demons surfaced.  I was tired, I wanted sweets, I was stressed out by life and my kids.  It was late, there was a wild storm raging, the treadmill had stuff on it, there was TV to watch…  But, I put on my shoes, I put on my workout clothes.  Stepped on to the treadmill that I hadn’t used since I had gotten it for free a few months ago.   The sound of the motor so loud in my second floor apartment, I wanted to turn it off.  The pounding of my steps echoing…  I thought for sure the folks downstairs would call animal control to report a heard of elephants had taken up residence on the second floor.  Then the coup de grâce, I discovered the belt on the treadmill itself was slippery.. I kept sliding.  My face felt a magnetic pull to the display console.  Every time I tried to pic up the pace to get into a run, gravity tried to have its way with me.  I REALLY wanted to quit.  Instead, I increased the incline, kicked up the speed to a fast walk and climbed and held on for dear life!!  I think that I even got a decent arm workout!

2miles of up hill climb, sweating buckets, I had fought back the weight of excuses drawing me back to a sedentary existence. Never give up.  No Excuses.  Making the hard choices for an even better future.

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Pursuing The Finish

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At the beginning of each year, it is hard not to set a New Year’s Resolution.  It is all over the media, your friends and family are talking about it, its tradition.  It becomes difficult to fight the peer pressure of setting that annual, often quickly broken expectation for the year.

There is a term for the influx of new people at the gym.  Regular sweaters call the newbies “Resolutioners”.  The regulars feel disdain for the newbies.  They use the machines that they want to use.  They don’t follow the unwritten rules of the gym.  They generally just get in the way.  The regulars want the resolutioners to go away and as history has shown us, 92% of them will.

Just 8% of resolutions make it the full year.  ONLY 8%!

This year I have fought the peer pressure and have not set a resolution.  I will not give up diet soda, or chocolate.  I won’t work out more, or lose 100 pounds.  I don’t need the added pressure to my life.  Instead of a resolution, this year I have a “theme”.  I will be working on multiple  small goals that are all connected to the common theme of “Finishing“.

I have a list of tasks and projects that have been left undone.  I have goals to be accomplished.  There are things that I have started repeatedly and have never finished.  One by one, I will be working to make list of the uncompleted smaller.

I am happy to report that I have already crossed oneIMG_5709 item off of my list.  The elusive Sudoku book.  I have NEVER finished an entire Sudoku book.  It gets lost, ruined, or thrown out before all of the numbers are carefully entered.  I made it my first mission of finishing in 2014.  It was liberating to turn the page to that last puzzle.  Puzzle 117.  For years I had pondered what that moment of finishing would feel like.  It was hard to fill in the last few squares, but it felt empowering all the same.   It was so great to take something off the “finishing list!”

There are two more things up next on the mission of finishing.  First a blanket that was started in 2010.  I am only 9 long rows from being done.

The second is a far more challenging goal.  I desire to finish a chap stick, to keep a tube from being lost or sent through washer before I reach  the very end!  Has this ever been done?  I polled everyone in my office and according to my data, this would be a first!!!

Heres to 2014, the year of finishing.  (And soft lips.)

Small Victories

     Ben doesn’t love food.  He could go long stretches without eating.  He just doesn’t think about eating as an important part of life.  When he does eat, it is in very limited quantities and from a very small group of foods.  He was a sweet tooth and is a crab monster.  We have spent a lot of energy and therapy time working on requesting food, staying at the table, eating foods that he doesn’t love.  But still eating is a challenge.
     Ben as eats in cycles.  He will eat pudding every day for three weeks.  Then it becomes equivalent to liver and haggis.  Another food takes its place.  But Ben will never give us a clue what the next food of choice is!  Eating is just a frustrating topic in this household!  But maybe the path is changing…..

     This morning, while I was making my breakfast (a toasted peanut butter banana sandwich – ritual the morning of a long run), Ben was watching me intently…  “Can I have?”  I don’t think I registered what he was saying at first..  “Mommy, can I have?”  He was clearly pointing at the bread in my hand.  Ben wanted bread??  “NO! Sandwich!”  I can with almost 100% certainty credit this word and this desire to a game he plays on the iPad.  He has to feed the animal the foods that appear over their heads.  If you give them the wrong foods, they make silly faces and sounds.  He LOVES this game.  When he plays it, I get to hear my favorite belly laughs.
    Grabbing the jelly from the fridge, I have a shadow as I go to the counter..  Time to break out a kitchen gadget!  I have been waiting for the moment, when I get to make my little boy a sandwich.  (I know if seems silly, but when your child doesn’t eat like a typical child, these moments become huge in your mind.)  I grabbed my Pampered Chef Cut and Seal and got to the important task of fulfilling this request.  Trying not to get my hopes up that it wasn’t a fluke request, I of course put too much jelly in the center.
    
     Sandwich finished, on the plate it goes and I turn to see Ben still standing next to me with the biggest Cheshire Cat grin.  His little hand reaches up – presumably to take the plate to the table… and the sandwich is GONE!  Before I can blink, he is curled into the corner of the  couch nibbling away like a squirrel!  Normally he would be told to sit at his table, but I was too excited that he was actually eating what he asked for!  He was eating a sandwich, just like any other 3 year old boy on a Saturday morning.. sitting on the couch in his under-roos, watching cartoons… Life felt normal!


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