Mommy in Pieces

Just a mom that wears a cape under her street clothes.

Shaming of the Mom

Being a new mom is one of the most incredible and incredibly scary things a woman can go through.  It is an instant admission to one of the world’s oldest and most amazing clubs!  It is remarkable that for eons, women have been having the same experience around the world.

There is a cost however, to joining the club… I like to think of it as, “The Shaming of the Mom”.  New moms are constantly doubting themselves, worried that they are not measuring up to astronomical standards..  It doesn’t help that in the age of Pinterest and Instagram, it is even easier to dig your way to the China of doubt.

It is so simple to compare our private nite mare to the picture perfect world of everyone else’s “best foot forward”.  You know exactly what I talking about… You sit down on the couch to take “a moment” as a naked Dear Child runs by with a cape of toilet paper, the cat over his shoulder, screaming about what a terrible person you are.  Dear Child then climbs the pantry shelves, knocks over the open bag of flour (because you haven’t had the time to put it in one of those pretty canisters with the custom chalkboard pant label) and grabs a highly processed, packaged, and sugared snack (the kind that those Pinterest Mom’s would NEVER feed their children).  In exacerbation, you pick up your device of choice (smart phone, tablet, etc) and click through the social media Portal of Doom (Pinterest, Instagram, Facebook, etc.).  Picture after picture… art projects, home baked goodies, gourmet dinners, spotless living rooms.

It’s a never ending parade of carefully edited, picture perfect moments.  We don’t see the individual pictures but a cacophony of virtual perfectness.  We begin to feel that is the norm and everyone else do it, meeting and in some cases surpassing the standard of “perfect”.  We look at our personal words and the tidal wave of shame comes crashing down.  

REMEMBER:

There is no magical measuring stick to “mom-ness”.  Every mother has their moments, when the stars align, Every mom is different and special and wonderful and perfect.  Every mom has her good days and her bad days. Put the binoculars down and stop the comparison.
the children behave and we have all of the parts to do a project that has been taunting from the virtual to do list.

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3 thoughts on “Shaming of the Mom

  1. What people don't realize about Pinterest is that the vast majority of those images are professionally photographed for magazine articles. The secret "tips" are usually ripped from a magazine or pulled from the blog of a "professional organizer" or "full-time DIY expert" or whatever. And usually, a pinner will change the text or leave out some key steps or otherwise modify it to make it seem oh so very easy, when in fact it takes some kind of specific cooking or carpentry or craft skill that most people don't have. Now, being a man, I have no idea who is shaming whom over not being able to pull off these picture perfect projects, but I'd be willing to be they don't live with kids on a daily basis. Either that, or they are vastly wealthy and can afford a full-time nanny. Either way, shame should never enter this equation.

  2. Truer words have not been spoken! I have had some great Pinterest successes, but they have taken a lot of careful planning and work. The projects have also been carefully selected and vetted. I have also had some experiences that I will need to process on a Therapists couch!!

  3. Women need to support each other, and stop looking at parenting as a sport to be won.

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